Stab their eyes with a pair of scissors, right now!

I have seen the face of the devil! I didn't believe in that kind of shit, until now. The source of this revolting evil shall remain nameless. To speak its name would give it power, and I would rather forget the nightmare! I would wish the foulest things upon it, in the most serious sense, but I would not want darkness to seep into my own heart!

Okay.. so I walked in while my wife was watching Saturday Night Live. She wasn't watching it closely, and frankly, there wasn't much on the TV tonight. The "musical guest" was performing, and I was commenting how horrible they were, when I realized the song they were playing sounded strangely familiar. I listened closely, and then my wife said, "Isn't that a Pink Floyd song?"

I thought about it, and tried to figure out which one it was. I was already nauseated by how craptacular they were, and this was just making me feel worse. They sounded like some sort of BeeGees cover band, and in fact, mentioned this to my wife. They were dressed pretty retarded, and dancing around just the same. I would describe it more, but it would bring back the nightmares. Lets just say, someone took the vomit from an all-night coke binge in the 70's, the afterbirth from Wham and a couple of other dance-oriented bands from the 80s, put it in an old filthy plastic cup, pissed in it, and then mixed it up with an insane homeless guy's diseased pecker. After dry heaving, I realized that the song was Comfortably Numb.

They turned a classic song, by a classic band, into a piece of shit! They took a depressing, meanlingful song, and turned it into a crappy pop dance song of the lowest order! If you like Pink Floyd, avoid listening to the "nameless-evil" I speak of, at all costs. To do so will put you into a fit of homicidal rage. Even if you do not like Pink Floyd, your mind will not be able to comprehend and handle the sinister, twisted imagination that would bring such a horrible piece of "music" to fruition. I know it sounds bad, but it is worse! Hearing it is akin to watching the tape in "The Ring". It is indescribable, and I would rather die than pass on the curse to my worst enemy.

I hope this "band" does not go far, and few hear them. To do so may bring the end to human existence. So if you come across them on the street, trip them. If you serve them food, take a dump in it. And if you are ever in the same city as the lead "singer", please track him down, and karate chop him in the throat, so the plague will go no further. I only wish I could provide you with more information.

Thank you, and may God bless and protect you from this darkest of evils.


(Frankly, this little rant was the only way to get the experience out of my system. I honestly do not want to add any publicity, of even the littlest kind, to this horrible act. It truly disturbed me that much.)

Cheney, what a guy!

Well, Cheney made Americans look insensitive and uncouth, (again). Read this story for the full details. Maybe I'm nit-picking, but it was a pretty poor choice on his part. I always knew he was an asshole, but I at least thought he was intelligent enough not to dress up like an Eskimo to an event in rememberance of Auschwitz!

You think he would have asked his wife, and if not available, someone on his staff, "Hey, how do I look?" (Really not too much to ask, when most people do this all the time for far less important events).

And hopefully someone would reply, "Uh, Dick, hmm, you know, I just LOVE it, but maybe THIS would be even better", while holding up some appropriate attire.

"I don't know, it's awefully cold out there!"

"Well, Dick, maybe you should put your thermal underware on."

"But I feel like a jackass when I wear those things!"

"A little too late for that."

"What did you say?"

"Uh, I said, maybe you should try this hat."

Good God, Here's Another One!

I'm afraid to go to James Dobson's website on this one, and see the details, because it might make me more mad than I care to be today. This article just makes me feel violent. Not because I am offended, just extremely irritated at his level of stupidity and/or ignorance. I get frustrated that human civilization has filtered out the much needed "natural selection". In other words, some people just need to be mauled by a bear, (or at least be allowed to drive without a seat belt)!

The Teletubbies, and now Sponge Bob. He's not specifically attacking him, but more its association and usage in an educational video for school, and what it supposedly teaches about homosexuality. Please read the article, and then see if you can track down the specifics. If it makes the situation more reasonable, let me know, so I can cool down, (for now). If not, tell me so, but not the details, (I need to wait for a better day to read it).

I'm not bashing anyone's religion. In fact, I remember Jesus, (Yeshua, really), talking and doing many things: criticizing religious hypocrites, not chasing money, helping the poor and rejected, forgiving one another and being tolerant, loving all including your enemy, turning the other cheek, treating others the way you would want to be treated yourself, etc. Now, I may have only a Sunday school education in religion, (well, and the History and Discovery Channel), and I know I am not a theologian, but I don't remember Jesus harping on about gay people.

Not necessarily saying he gave it his seal of approval, and I don't want to get into THAT debate, but if you had to summarize Jesus' teachings, homosexuality would not make the list. Hell, it wouldn't make the second level of detail down on the outline. So why is it that it seems to be the first thing some Christians talk about, and Jesus' primary teachings are put to the side?

Christianity, or whatever name you want to put on the ideals Jesus had taught, is not meant to be about going around judging people, raining hellfire and brimstone down on "the sinful". You help people with love, not condemnation. Many of these people sound like they read the Hebrew Bible (AKA Old Testament), skip over the gospels, skim the rest of the New Testament until they get to Revelations, where they become the happiest. Many of these people say that "all are sinners in the eyes of God", but don't act like it. They would give you the impression that they were an archangel sent by God to smote Sodom and Gomorrha and free America from the heathens. But in the end, they end up seeming more like the Pharisees than an angel, (or even a decent human being).

Okay, big tangent.. sorry...

Here's Your "Holy $#*!" for the Day

I'm suprised ESSF hasn't mentioned THIS yet in her entertaining news oddity blog. There has to be more to this story, something seems missing. I can understand the toothache business, but I know the incident itself must have hurt when it happened. What did he think caused it, just the shock of the backfire, or something else hitting him? Or did it happen so fast, and the pain went away immediately, (temporarily), that he didn't give it much thought? I can't explain it, I'm having trouble just understanding it. But the math seems simple to me:

nail gun + backfire + "ouch" = "Oh shit, what just happened? Maybe I should go to the ER..."

And not having health insurance when using a nail gun!? I'm trying not to pass judgement on the guy, but what the hell!? Now if your job doesn't involve use of a deadly weapon, okay, I understand. Oh well, the article didn't go into additional details like that, so I won't harp on it, but seriously, read the article, and learn from it.


Also, check the Gmail invite offer I made below.

Mo' Money

Well, my brother came over this weekend to work on his new business venture. It's an interesting idea, and seems to have potential. I would be helping him with the web functionality, especially, the database system. I have a lot of work cut out for me, but it seems like it will be fun.

Sounds strange to describe it as fun, but anything where I can use my professional skills in a rewarding way is great. More practice for my IT background, and not just the nuts and bolts stuff, but also the business analysis skill set. Working in a corporate environment can be frustrating sometimes, and having a nice blank slate is always nice.

Hell, if this works out, I could end up getting some extra cash. I'm helping out as a favor right now, but my bro tries to push the idea that, if this takes off, he'll pay me or cut me in. He honestly wants this to be as successful as possible so it can be an additional source of income, if not focusing on it full time. He even wants it to be big enough so I can come on full time, (if I want to).

My brother has had these ideas before. He's a marketing/entrepreneur kind of guy, but he often bites off more than he can chew. The ideas are always realistic, but often the target market is crowded, or involves first hand experience in something no one on the project has.

This one, however, is well thought out. Not to say he never had thought towards it before, but he understands all the details and complexities himself. He's gone over it several times, has it research, and has first hand experience with it in some way. It seems like a huge undertaking, but we can see all the pieces, which is comforting. The more I go over the idea, the more possible it seems. We'll see what happens, just have to remain diligent and positive.


By the way, if anyone out there in the blogosphere still needs a Gmail account, let me know. Just post a good, constructive criticism of my blog here so far, and I will send you an invitation. I doubt there will be many takers, (though I have more than a couple invites), since most people that know about Gmail, and want it, probably already have an account. Either way, it's worth a shot.

New Blog Idea

Chris said I should blog about all my comments on other people's blogs. You know, create a link to the comments I make, I guess like a "best of " or something. God knows I post more on other people's blogs than my own.

I also think that my wife and I are going to start having our fights on the web. We both think it is easier to write out our thoughts than speak them, and we can end up getting free advice. Well, really, it's just to get people to root for our respective side. Hell, maybe there can even be betting on who will win.

I'd probably just throw a few fights for a quick buck. Fuck it, this idea has probably been done before, (but it won't stop us from fighting). Doesn't matter, our fights aren't that interesting, anyways.

My Birthday

My birthday was this past weekend, and it ended up being pretty good. Friday, my wife and two of our friends got drunk, ate barbeque, and watched a movie. It was simple, but quite fun.

Saturday had a few bumps, but it ended up alright. We went with another friend out to eat and watched a movie, "White Noise". The movie was scarey at parts, but it was pretty slow, especially the beginning. It was a decent "popcorn movie", but nothing to get excited about.

Sunday was fairly low key. My parents came over, with my mom bringing along lunch and my present. My wife got me one of those new iPod Shuffle MP3 players. Pretty weird looking thing, reminded me of something out of "2001: A Space Odyssey", (like some "futuristic" square tampon). Still, it looks interesting and sleek. It has a nice sound, 512 megs of space, (and it didn't break the bank). Good idea, and it was a total suprise.

I know more happened than that this weekend, but I find it hard to write about mundane things. Not that I don't appreciate the little things in life, but publically writing about them doesn't sound appealing. Some people have more exciting things going on in their life, good or bad, or are very good at making their day to day life very readable. I seem to lack that, or don't have the drive.

Actually, I think it's more about recounting a few days at a time I have a problem with. I need to write the day it happens, or the details get fuzzy. Also, I think it's lazyiness. It becomes a post containing multiple days and I lose interest after writing down the first day of activities.

So I guess that means I should write more often, we'll see if that happens...

They can fire you for that?

A friend sent me an article located here. It details a blogger that got fired from work because of his blog. At first I thought, "Chris?", but it was in the UK. The details are what get me: he only had two posts related to his work, they were pretty tame water cooler "my boss sucks" comments, no sensitive information was revealed, and the best part, he worked for a bookstore! You really need to read it for the full effect. I'm not sure what his company was thinking, because NOW they have bad publicity. I'm not sure if they have a good explanation, but I'm interested to hear it.

Speaking of which, I still haven't figure out that Tom Delay congressional prayer breakfast incident. The media didn't mention it at all, (because they're all liberal, right?), even though it was caught on video and on MP3 format. Maybe it just looks bad on the outside, maybe they read flood passages all the time, (hell, I know there is at least one more in the Bible). Maybe they have people that get up and read passages from the Bible who don't precede or follow up with commentary, (seriously). There must be a reason. I know not everyone watches CSPAN, (okay, most people don't), but it was a recorded public event, you think they would have more sense.

Hell, even my company thinks farther than that, and they don't have any obligations, AND it was a private event! An internal company video was created for a meeting, which had large crashing waves in it, (part of brand imaging). It was a large meeting, one of many, and our company is very large, (global), so the videos are professionally produced and very expensive. To make a long story short, instead of spending a lot, (and I mean A LOT), to edit the possibly offending images out, (giving the timing of world events), they spent the money they would have used doing that on direct aid to the tsunami victims. Pretty smart, when you think about it.

I can't say the same about DeLay.

Crap, I vaguely and anonymously mentioned work, I better start looking for a job.

Sorry for the DeLay!

I hope you have heard about this, but if not, the gist is this: Tom DeLay was at a Congressional Prayer Service last week and read Matthew 7:21-27. For those of you, (like me), who never got any gold stars during Bible board games in Sunday school, the passage mentions a flood that destroys a house built on sand. Now, I know excuses may be going through many of your heads, but given the recent tsunami it was either incredibly stupid, or incredibly cold. Coming from Bush, I would choose the former. However, given that it is "the Hammer" we are talking about, I tend to go to the latter. What makes it pretty cut and dry for me is that there was nothing preceding, or following, the speaking of the passage. Who know, there may be an extenuating circumstance, but I'm not giving DeLay the benefit of the doubt.

If you want to check out an interesting blog discussion of the incident, go here. Also, CSPAN has the video of the event in their video archive. I'd post a direct link, but when I did it, it was http://www.cspan.org/VideoArchives.asp?CatCodePairs=,&ArchiveDays=100&Page=5, but obviously, it has changed given that it was a search result.

Even though I think ol' Tommy boy is Damien, the anti-christ, or at the very least, Machiavelli's wet dream; I'm not some sort of "liberal conspiracy theorist", I'm not Michael Moore, or this guy I know that says Al Franken is a Republican mole. (He's always going on about his teeth, "plaque conspiracy", metallica, or something; I don't know, he was high at the time). I'm just a guy that writes run on sentences that go no where until I doubt my own sanity and pass out.

It Hurts Worse Than You Think

I was eating some pizza for lunch a minute ago, and something strange happened. I frequently put crush red pepper on pizza, but this time, made the mistake of sniffing for a split second while I took a bite. You know that feeling you get when you eat too much spicy food? When you take a dump and jump up and scream, "My biscuits are burning!" like Yosemite Sam?

Well, imagine that on your face...

So for future reference: if you ever had a burning desire to snort hot pepper seeds, it's a bad idea. Or if you are just careless like me, you've been warned.

I sneezed A LOT! People don't sneeze because pepper "tickles" their nose, like in some cartoon. Oh no, they sneeze because the nose is screaming, "Get this fucking thing out of me!" Or maybe that's just red pepper, but I don't think I will try black.

But let me repeat, I did not do this on purpose! It was an accident, and this is not going to become some "Jackass" like blog. I might act like a jackass every now and then, but I don't do it on purpose, and certainly not for fun.

Although.. if not for fun, then for what? (Nevermind.)