Where to begin...

Wow, I have let myself go. So what's been happening...

Well, as the title alludes, I'm not sure where to begin. Oh well, I will miss a lot, this isn't a diary, so it'll just be stream of thought.

Christmas ended up being fun, both at my wife's parents, and at mine. Sparkey's nieces came back with us, and we've all been having a good time. New Years Eve will be a little strange with the girls there. Our friends still have plans to come and get smashed with us, so it will be crowded to say the least. We have a house big enough, but it will still be to capacity, (two extra bedrooms and a couch for five people).

I'm not as worried about people drinking around the girls. They know the people that are going to be their, and they are good people. The girls are young teenagers, but no one is going to get totally messed up, (we all know better because of our college years). Still I feel a little irresponsible. Their mother knows about it all, and even said, "You can let them drink a little, just don't let me know about it." Frankly, I really am not going to let them. Anyways, when we drink, we end up watching movies and playing video games. Wild we are not.

I probably won't much drink, just so their is at least one sober adult around.

Their is more in my head to write, but I can't sort it all out. Especially a weird conversation I had with the wife last night. I understand what she meant, and I'm glad she shared with me, but it was all disturbing, all the same. Nothing that affects our relationship, but when you grow closer to someone, you become privy to deeper, less fully formed thoughts.

Anyways, I need to make a new story for Cheaper Than Meat. I took a "7 Habit of Highly Effective People" training class for work, and it inspired me.. in a bad way... :)

The Post Because I Have Not Posted Lately

I'm still trying to write a really fucked up story for Cheaper Than Meat. I took that 7 Habit of Highly Effective People this week, and was suprised that it wasn't a total cultish mess. I actually got a planner because of it, and feel more organized. On top of that, it inspired a twisted story that I will hopefully post this weekend.

For the course, we had these anonymous profiles we got from people in our lives. We give like six of them out, and the scores and comments are pooled. Some of it was really rough, and I felt a little hurt. I can handle advice on communication and focus, both of which I have a problem with. But a few other things burned. Some of it because it was too true, some because it was harsh. The former only ended up helping me, the later, I wrote off because I kind of figured out who it was. (A person who gives advice better than takes it, a person pretty insensitive for a person so sensitive).

If you haven't seen the hole in my ceiling yet, go to Sparkey's page. Good news, we decided a better way to wire our speakers. Bad news, we have a new project, the hole in the ceiling. It started a fight because my wife thought I was mad at her, when in reality, I was tired and did not want to think about the work to repair it when we were already have a hard time with the wiring. I love her, and there is nothing to forgive, and no ill feelings of any kind. In fact, I'm kind of glad it was her than me. The attic is not fun to crawl around in, and I am bigger and clumsier. I would have fell clean through it! And this way, we were "forced" to see a simplier solution.


(Please don't write me back angry babe, don't misunderstand me and think.. uh, nevermind) :)

I don't even know how to title this appropriately...

This story, (Police: Woman runs over teens after golf ball hits her car), is seriously fucked up! I decided to eat lunch at my deck today, and after finishing up, didn't feel like going "back to work" just yet. I had finished reading some blogs, and the only thing I could think of was to check out the top stories on the CNN website. Boy, was that a mistake! The headline doesn't do it justice, ("injustice", might be a better word), you have to read the details to get the full shock. I can't comprehend it, honestly.

After writing my previous blog post, and me thumbing my nose at the mainstream media, you think I wouldn't have done this. I would say this was another attempt at the media using sensationalism to exploit tragedy for the almighty dollar, while in the process, making us all more cynical and jaded.

But CNN wouldn't let me have it. Right below it was the headline "Tipster turns down $40,000 reward for murder arrest". It's like they were trying to balance it out on purpose, (think it will take more than that, though). It all seems a bit sicker when you take this into consideration. Or maybe I'm just too cynical, (gee, wonder how that happened?).

One addiction beat, ninety nine more to go

I realized the other day, I beat an addiction, without even realizing it. I use to read editorial websites at work too much. I would load up a couple, and then open additional windows for each article. Hell, I'd cross-reference other sites to verify accuracy and bias. Sound strange? Well, I guess it was.

I'm overly opinionated on many different topics, but also fairly knowledgable. My addiction was the reason why, I suppose. But thanks to blogging, I didn't have time for it at work, or more importantly, did not care about it anymore. Blogging seems a lot more interesting.

I use to go on slate.msn.com, and visit their forums all the time. And this was only one of many places I went during a day. Needless to say, productivity suffered. But after blogging, I realized it didn't mean shit. I'm not going to find truth in someone else's political/philosophical opinion, whether it is because I appreciate it, or because I disagree with it. It may add another dimension to my knowledge, but a dimension to what?

The world is a complex place, and there is little in it that helps clarify it. The mainstream media is shit, and most other places seem marginalized and incomplete. It's hard to keep up these days with what is really happening.

Add to that the fact that most people seem to want to be seen as right, and not actually know the truth, and you see where I'm going. I can research something to death, but if I get caught off guard, even semantically, I'll be responded to with a smug grin and half-witted gainsaying. Just watch things like Fox News or any "debate show", it's a joke. Childhood arguments have not changed, just the vocabulary.

I have a saying, "Who is the greater fool, the fool, or the one who chooses to argue with the fool?" I guess I should have taken my own advice. Not trying to sound arrogant, but there are a lot of fools out there, and many of them have jobs in politics and the media.

Does this mean I think that all truth is relative, or cannot be known? Eh, hell if I know, but I'm still going to read the news and dig deeper behind the stories. However, I'm not going to be a news addict, there doesn't seem to be a point. I'll still take an active part in the world around me, but I don't think I'll be buying that Nexis-Lexis subscription.

What reading and writing blogs has done for me is seen what really matters. Not the hype of convoluted news, but people's lives and inspirations. There are blogs about politics and news, and I know I have posted a few related things, but the most meaningful blog posts I've read have been ones that were personal to the author. That seems to be more real to me. Life is not another tick of the news cycle, but every individual life in the world. From the mundane, to the dramatic. The fictional works, or the slice of life. This is what matters, and not another sound bite on CNN. If this world is to survive, we must stay connected to one another, no matter the cost. The alternative is a reality filtered through the eyes of a few. That would be no kind of reality at all.

Thank you to everyone who has shared a part of themselves, whether on their blog, or just posting a comment.

A little privacy please...

I hate taking a shit in public. I'm not some obsessive compulsive clean freak, (though, I do have my limits), but can a guy get some privacy when he takes a shit!? Maybe I'm one of the few guys out there that doesn't want to swap smells and sounds from my nether regions with others, I don't know.

What's worse is when it is with people you work with. I try not to take a dump in any public restroom. I usually always hold it for home, unless I am REALLY desperate. But when you spend 8+ hours in one place, that's not always possible. And that is the problem with work.

Thankfully, there is a restroom that is usually vacant in my building. It's on a different floor, but it is a short elevator ride away. I can usually go there and "drop a few friends off at the pool" in peace and quiet, (well, except for me, any ways). I think the floor is predominately female, so I am blessed with this alternative.

Lately, though, I think others have found this location. That, and I know of a few more guys whose office moved down there. When I go down there these days, there is a greater chance that someone is already squeezing out the Hershey kisses. I usually just come back later, it's better than the higher traffic restroom on my floor.

Today, however, was horrible. You could say that the "shit hit the fan".

I took a dump before coming to work today. I usually can't, because I'm not primed or something. Today, my guts were tore up, seriously! I thought I would have a shit free day at work because of this, until I took that first sip of coffee. Coffee doesn't always have that affect on me, but I wouldn't call it rare, either.

I go to the "alternative location", and there is someone already there. In fact, some guy comes in behind me. He takes a leak, but still, too crowded for "derailing the chocolate choo-choo". I go back to my floor, intent on coming back later.

My bowels would have none of that! The minute I got back to my floor, I just had to go. "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now!" I go to my restroom on my floor, AND THANK GOD, it's empty! I sit down, and prepare for the worst.

Well, it got worse. I barely sat down when someone came into the restroom. I hoped they would take a piss and leave. Nope, he sits in the stall next to me. Worst of all, I was in such a hurry, I sat in the middle of three stalls. So guess who comes in shortly after?

Shitter #3. I have feces in stereo, listening to the ol' ass trumpet section! The restroom scene in the first Austin Powers, comes to mind during this episode. Shortly after, a guy comes in to take a leak at one of the urinals. It was like a restroom barber shop quartet! That guy leaves, and so does shitter #2. A couple minutes later as #3 is leaving, someone comes in to substitute. Finally that guy leaves, and another leaker comes and goes, and I am alone. I can finally finish.

I would have wiped and gone earlier, but as I said, I was tore up. When you get like that, your muscles get twisted up, and you just don't stop feeling like you need to take a shit. Not only that, but something subconsciously stops me from doing the full push with people in the same room.

I know this is weird, (and TMI), but it's probably the only interesting thing that happened to me all day at work. It's also something that always bothers me. I really don't want to know what my co-workers sound like when they had a bad breakfast. I don't want to smell their waste. I don't want to hear them grunting and sighing as they pinch a loaf off. I don't want to here them struggling like they are about to have a heart attack because some turd won't come out. Or worse, hear a shot gun blast of defecation into the bowl of water, having it describe to me in gory detail what it looks like.

Call me crazy, but it's a bit too personal. I don't want to be in some meeting and gag, or bust out laughing, when I talk to someone I had to sit next to. And I don't want the reverse, either. I'm not asking for posh accommodations, or even something large. Just a small, enclosed and isolated stall with it's own fan, kind of like a guest bathroom. It's probably unrealistic, especially for a large building, but if I ever get say into a public restroom's design, that's what I'd do.

Sorry if I spoiled your appetite.