I don't want a job in "Maxico"

The hits just keep on coming.

The day before yesterday, someone sent me a contract position in "Maxico" (not Mexico) doing something (Oracle EBS implementation) I have no business doing (a very small piece of it is mentioned in my resume, but that's it).  It's in "Maxicali" (not Mexicali), which is just over the border with California - but yea, no.

It reminds me of the time I got an opportunity sent to me that was a very short contract in New York city to train people on SAP B/W.  I mentioned this, too, on my resume, but only to show familiarity with different sources of data for ETL (extract transform load) development.  I ended up taking that blurb out of my resume to avoid crap like that in the future.

This lazy practice by recruiters annoys me; I end up having to go through a lot of spam just to get through the things I am looking for (at least something close).  It's not really "spam", but something I heard refer to before as "bacon".  It's not (completely) unjustified or undesired, but too much and it annoyingly clogs up your inbox.

There is good news, though.  I had a phone interview that day, which lead to me having an onsite interview yesterday.  It went pretty well, and should be a good opportunity, but I'm not counting my chickens yet.  Last time something seemed like a virtual lock, I didn't get it.  I'm up against more people this time, but there may or may not be more than one position to fill.  Either way, I'm not getting excited and I'm not losing an iota of focus on finding another job.

However, I first need to complete my thank you letter to the people I interviewed with.  After the last interview, I sent my usual remarks, but the recruiter stopped and told  me to strengthen it up.  I did, and while it didn't help me get the job, it did give me some insight.  I tried applying those lessons this time around, but so far, it's going slow.  I'm going to send it today, but I have some serious writers block - hence why I am blogging right now (though, I intended to post something the past couple of days, anyway).

Okay, that's enough "structured procrastination" - time to get the letter/e-mail out.

Unemployed

I've been unemployed for a little over two months now, which sucks even more than it would due to this being the longest I have been without a job.  I do not know when to expect something to come along; in the past I had one job interview and got a job.  This time around, I have had a promising phone interview and a couple of onsite interviews, but no job offers.  Everyone has been supportive and is telling me to relax, but I don't know if that is even genetically possible.

I'm not down on myself, but I am demoralized.  That really doesn't mean anything, because giving up is not an option.  So what now?

I finally posted my resume to the major job sites, instead of just searching for jobs and sending it directly to the recruiters.  That would seem like a first step, so why the wait?  I wasn't so sure what the subconscious hesitation was - until today when the suppressed memories of earlier job hunting came flooding back.

My inbox has blown up, and not in a good way.  Now, instead of slogging through the detritus on the Internet, it has come to my virtual front door.  I've also got a ton of voice mails (which I hate, because it's nowhere as easy to organize compared to e-mails).  Most of the jobs are obviously a poor fit and/or in another state. A good chunk of them are poorly written and/or bad form letters (including pieces of the template still present).

One was for a job in another state testing/validating microprocessors or something (not a close fit, not even in the ballpark).  I still replied and kindly declined.  They responded (in somewhat poor English/grammar) wanting to know my expertise and desired position.  I wanted to reply back, "You can start by reading my resume."

Then, of course, there are the job offers in insurance.

Structured Procrastination

John Perry, I thank you.

To sum it up (in my own imperfect words): Procrastinators do a lot, just not the important things.  By embracing your bad habit - with a big heaping spoonful of self-deception and trickery - you can get the right things done.

This isn't a cure all to my procrastinating (and all the various mental blocks and reasoning), but it's a good first step.  Also, fuck Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

Wow, it's been awhile...

Well, it's been awhile since I have posted anything, a looong time.  I'm a procrastinator, what can I say?  This is different than procrastinating, which we are all guilty of.  My problem is chronic.  I over analyze, I'm afraid of mistakes (or generally looking like a jackass), and often escape to the back of my mind where things are simpler.  I'm trying to be different, and this is a first step.

I can't be complete, let alone perfect - I need to get that through my head.  This blog will become my exercise in over coming this.  It will be a kind of exposure therapy.  How so?  By writing what I am thinking and - holy shit - not going back to edit a previous part of a post.  So please forgive me if anything I write sounds odd, or frankly, like shit.

I'm not sure who I am even talking to.  I know most of the people who read this have probably moved on.  Maybe this will pop back up in someone's feed or something, but they will either wonder who the hell am I and why haven't they cleaned up all their links yet, or it will be people who know me in real life.  Frankly, I have no intention of reading anyone else's blog.  That's what always stopped me (among other things) from starting again.  If I cannot read someone else's blog, why should anyone else read mine.  The answer: they probably shouldn't.

It doesn't matter.  This is for me to deal with the crap that I do that I am not happy with that never seems to end.  The wall is hurting my head, but that's because I keep hitting it against it.

Screw "preview", "save", or any other options - there is only "publish".  This bitch is going live.  To quote Bill O'Reily, "Fuck it!  We'll do it live!"