Got a Job

Well, I finally got a job!  I found out over a week ago, but it took two or three days to get an official offer.  I ended up getting more than I thought I would, which is good and bad.  Good for obvious reasons, and bad because.. well, maybe they won't own my soul, but they are definitely renting it!  It's going to be a demanding job, but I think in a good way.

It's been a week since I signed the acceptance letter, and almost a week since I did the piss test.  It's been quiet, and I'm a little worried.  Not that I failed it, or that there were any issues on the background check, but.. you never know.  I'm a little bit of a paranoid person - maybe "unnecessarily anxious" is a better way to put it.  I don't really feel like I have the job until I'm coming home from the first day of work (or maybe the day after).

I'm worried that this is going to fall through, not because it is probable, but because it is possible (i.e. "shit happens").  Even if there is only a 1% chance of this job not happening, I don't like those odds.  I have stopped my job search, because I signed the offer letter.  I have been disregarding e-mails and phone calls, politely responding, "I recently accepted a job offer".  I would hate to have lost all that time, and any possible opportunities.  I want this job, but.. I'm being paranoid.

This is distracting me from things I could be doing to prepare, or at least get some things done around the house.  It shouldn't, I know I'm being stupid.  It doesn't help that something happened yesterday (and into this morning) that has made me even more preoccupied - but more on that in another post.

Oh yeah, and yea, Obama got reelected.  (Notice the lack of an exclamation mark.)  I voted for him, but I just don't have that political fervor I used to have.  My wife has always been like that, and maybe being married to her for so long has affected my taste for politics.

I'm not apathetic, but after reading or participating in too many fruitless debates online and off, I just don't have it in me to write about it.  The anonymity of the web gives people cover to say incendiary and stupid things, but it's not much better in real life.  Add on top of that, all the intention and unintentional distortion of facts that are out there, and it's hard to be passionate about what you think the truth is.

We will see what happens, only time will tell.  Unfortunately, that can be applied to too many things in my life right now.

I don't want a job in "Maxico"

The hits just keep on coming.

The day before yesterday, someone sent me a contract position in "Maxico" (not Mexico) doing something (Oracle EBS implementation) I have no business doing (a very small piece of it is mentioned in my resume, but that's it).  It's in "Maxicali" (not Mexicali), which is just over the border with California - but yea, no.

It reminds me of the time I got an opportunity sent to me that was a very short contract in New York city to train people on SAP B/W.  I mentioned this, too, on my resume, but only to show familiarity with different sources of data for ETL (extract transform load) development.  I ended up taking that blurb out of my resume to avoid crap like that in the future.

This lazy practice by recruiters annoys me; I end up having to go through a lot of spam just to get through the things I am looking for (at least something close).  It's not really "spam", but something I heard refer to before as "bacon".  It's not (completely) unjustified or undesired, but too much and it annoyingly clogs up your inbox.

There is good news, though.  I had a phone interview that day, which lead to me having an onsite interview yesterday.  It went pretty well, and should be a good opportunity, but I'm not counting my chickens yet.  Last time something seemed like a virtual lock, I didn't get it.  I'm up against more people this time, but there may or may not be more than one position to fill.  Either way, I'm not getting excited and I'm not losing an iota of focus on finding another job.

However, I first need to complete my thank you letter to the people I interviewed with.  After the last interview, I sent my usual remarks, but the recruiter stopped and told  me to strengthen it up.  I did, and while it didn't help me get the job, it did give me some insight.  I tried applying those lessons this time around, but so far, it's going slow.  I'm going to send it today, but I have some serious writers block - hence why I am blogging right now (though, I intended to post something the past couple of days, anyway).

Okay, that's enough "structured procrastination" - time to get the letter/e-mail out.

Unemployed

I've been unemployed for a little over two months now, which sucks even more than it would due to this being the longest I have been without a job.  I do not know when to expect something to come along; in the past I had one job interview and got a job.  This time around, I have had a promising phone interview and a couple of onsite interviews, but no job offers.  Everyone has been supportive and is telling me to relax, but I don't know if that is even genetically possible.

I'm not down on myself, but I am demoralized.  That really doesn't mean anything, because giving up is not an option.  So what now?

I finally posted my resume to the major job sites, instead of just searching for jobs and sending it directly to the recruiters.  That would seem like a first step, so why the wait?  I wasn't so sure what the subconscious hesitation was - until today when the suppressed memories of earlier job hunting came flooding back.

My inbox has blown up, and not in a good way.  Now, instead of slogging through the detritus on the Internet, it has come to my virtual front door.  I've also got a ton of voice mails (which I hate, because it's nowhere as easy to organize compared to e-mails).  Most of the jobs are obviously a poor fit and/or in another state. A good chunk of them are poorly written and/or bad form letters (including pieces of the template still present).

One was for a job in another state testing/validating microprocessors or something (not a close fit, not even in the ballpark).  I still replied and kindly declined.  They responded (in somewhat poor English/grammar) wanting to know my expertise and desired position.  I wanted to reply back, "You can start by reading my resume."

Then, of course, there are the job offers in insurance.

Structured Procrastination

John Perry, I thank you.

To sum it up (in my own imperfect words): Procrastinators do a lot, just not the important things.  By embracing your bad habit - with a big heaping spoonful of self-deception and trickery - you can get the right things done.

This isn't a cure all to my procrastinating (and all the various mental blocks and reasoning), but it's a good first step.  Also, fuck Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

Wow, it's been awhile...

Well, it's been awhile since I have posted anything, a looong time.  I'm a procrastinator, what can I say?  This is different than procrastinating, which we are all guilty of.  My problem is chronic.  I over analyze, I'm afraid of mistakes (or generally looking like a jackass), and often escape to the back of my mind where things are simpler.  I'm trying to be different, and this is a first step.

I can't be complete, let alone perfect - I need to get that through my head.  This blog will become my exercise in over coming this.  It will be a kind of exposure therapy.  How so?  By writing what I am thinking and - holy shit - not going back to edit a previous part of a post.  So please forgive me if anything I write sounds odd, or frankly, like shit.

I'm not sure who I am even talking to.  I know most of the people who read this have probably moved on.  Maybe this will pop back up in someone's feed or something, but they will either wonder who the hell am I and why haven't they cleaned up all their links yet, or it will be people who know me in real life.  Frankly, I have no intention of reading anyone else's blog.  That's what always stopped me (among other things) from starting again.  If I cannot read someone else's blog, why should anyone else read mine.  The answer: they probably shouldn't.

It doesn't matter.  This is for me to deal with the crap that I do that I am not happy with that never seems to end.  The wall is hurting my head, but that's because I keep hitting it against it.

Screw "preview", "save", or any other options - there is only "publish".  This bitch is going live.  To quote Bill O'Reily, "Fuck it!  We'll do it live!"

Back Again

Man, it's been awhile since I have posted here. I suppose I'm blogging again on a regular basis, but I'm making no promises, no formulas.

Let's see, what's happened.. last time I posted I was working for a mortgage company. Well, they went belly up (with so many others), but frankly, they had their heads firmly up their asses. Got a new job, relatively quickly, making more money. Better job, more responsibility, not quite as crazy. I'll post more details later.

Oh, and my wife and I are having a baby.

Not sure why I am writing an update like this, I doubt any of the people from before will stumble across it. I only started up again because someone I knew did. That, and to get some writing exercise. God help me, I'm trying to write a book or novella. Not trying to publish it, don't really want to, just want to see if I can do it. It's been something inching inside me for a while.

I know a few people who do the MySpace thing, but damn, I find it boring. Maybe I'm just anti-social, but I don't think that's (exactly) what it is. It just doesn't seem to center around writing, just posting goofy shit. It's the Internet's version of the bathroom wall. Maybe I'm missing something, but I like this kind of blogging better.

Oops, forgot...

I meant to post this link a week ago, but forgot: http://news.independent.co.uk/world/americas/article2758838.ece

It's another sad reminder of what Dubya will do suppress science and logic in favor of a misguided party line.


I haven't been posting much lately, a little overwhelmed. Just so much going on, I forget to blog. I need to write about what is going on at work, and why I need to move on. Also, I'll probably throw in what happened at my last job.

Where'd Everyone Go?

Looks like almost everyone I knew through blogging has disappeared. One of them has become a "real-life" friend, and a good one at that, so it isn't a total loss. But man, the old scene is no more! Guess I should expect it, given how long I've been gone, but some of them have been gone for quite some time.

Maybe as bad, is that my BlogRoll is quite stale, and I forgot my credentials in order to change it. I'll figure something out, no big deal, but I still find it kind of funny.

At this point, I have to admit to myself it won't ever be the same. Very few, if any, people will probably read this blog. I'm not sure if it is sad or liberating (in some way). To be honest, I was never one for reading other people's blogs, unless they had drama going on in their life or if they were exceptionally entertaining and informative.. and that person is the friend mentioned above. So, if you read this, and you have a blog like that, let me know.

This is some Blade Runner shit, right here!

You got to check this site out:

"Our software takes a large collection of photos of a place or an object, analyzes them for similarities, and then displays the photos in a reconstructed three-dimensional space, showing you how each one relates to the next."

My current job in IT is a bit bland and stall, but after looking at what these people did with their computer time, I'm more than jealous - I'm depressed. What do I have to show for my work at the end of the day? Nothing like this, I know that! I know there was a team of people behind this, but damn, they make me look like a total dumb ass in comparison!

But in one way, it did make me feel better, (besides being suitably impressed). The subject matter for the demo happens to be St. Mark's Square in Venice, Italy. I went there last year, and it made a lot of great memories come flooding back.

I'm back...

Been a long, long time, must mean I need to switch jobs again. Not sure why I came back, but I feel compelled to for some reason. Haven't been reading into politics as much, lately. So many bricks find their way lodged into my skull that you will have to forgive me for no longer making a hobby of bashing my head against the illogical and insane.

All this is owed to working in IT. You realize the futility in making the world a logical place. Or maybe it is owed to the movie Idiocracy, that I feel this way.

I suppose I can spout off about the plastic, or (at least) ambiguous, nature of truth. But lets be honest, when the world is struggling with logic, (at least lately), talking about truth is a bit presumptuous.

Yes, you may be a dreamer, and you may not be the only one, but it is going to be an awfully long nap time before the world you imagine comes to fruition. I think I'll concentrate on damage control, trying to prevent this country, and world, from turning into a bad rip off of 1984. Or maybe Idiocracy is a more likely scenario.

I know, I'm being cynical, but that isn't exactly new.

So what now? I'll probably not be posting about politics. While you can try to feed your neighbor, the world may be a bit too lofty. While the world (as a whole) probably has the capacity to easily care for its downtrodden, it assumes competency, (see above). While we have it in our means to cure the world of common diseases, ensure peace, invent new.. well, you get the idea, it's a long shot.

But I guess I do have one "cause" that always pulls at me: freedom. What you do with your freedom, well, that's up to you. Of course, there is even a debate into what freedom entails. But the one thing you can't debate, (though, given this freedom, I guess you could), is the freedom to question, and to communicate this questioning. That is the start of many things, (including logic). We take it for granted in America, though, there are places around the world where that freedom is a dream. And there are those in this very country that are chipping away at this right, each and everyday, right before your eyes...

Okay, maybe I'll talk about politics a little.