Asshole on Line 1

There are two things that I don't look forward to during a work day:

1. Having to take a dump in a public restroom
2. The asshole across the hall

What's so bad about this walking anus? He's a living reminder that common courtesy is not common. My primary problem with this human sphincter of the nether regions? His insistent usage of his speaker phone.

I seriously don't think he knows there is a handset on his phone. He uses the speaker for EVERYTHING:

• Work related
• Personal
• Voice mail
• While dialing

I shit you NOT! While DIALING! I am completely honest, and serious when I say he uses the speaker phone for EVERY call he makes. I have only seen/heard him use the handset ONCE, when his speaker phone conversation was getting too personal to be heard by everyone in the office. But because he uses the speaker phone all the time, I'm now starting to doubt my memory of this occurrence.

On top of that, he has the volume up loud, with his door almost always open. Of course, he has to talk loud, too. He doesn't seem to be going deaf, he's not old enough, or otherwise behaves like he is going deaf. So why he has to do this is beyond me.

What blows my mind is that he's not usually doing much while on the phone. He's a manager, not tech support! He's not usually using his computer while on the phone, and when he is, it's not like he's really typing anything up. He's just lazy and inconsiderate. Oh, and obviously unprofessional.

But he is a manager, and there isn't much I can say, especially now. He's not my boss, but he might be soon, no reason to burn any bridges. There is a reorganization happening at my work, and one of the jobs I posted for was in his department. Not that I would WANT to work under this guy, it's just that there are worse things that can happen.

Before I didn't say anything because I was not assertive enough, (read: pussy). But a month or so ago, I had a revelation about myself and my outlook on life, (being sick and taking expired prescription strength codeine cough syrup helped me in my little "vision quest"). Then the problem was, how can I confront him without using the phrases "inconsideration asshole" and "shut the fuck up". As in, "Please, shut the fuck up, you inconsiderate asshole. Everyone on this floor can hear you and your stupid speaker phone. Honestly, what makes you, or anything you do, so important that you need to use a speaker phone all the time?" You see the problem.

Then I realized, it wouldn't change anything if I said anything. When I worked on a different floor, I used to have this other guy in the office next to me do the same thing. It bothered me just the same then, but I could live with it because I had a little help. A co-worker of mine had no reservation about getting confrontational with him. Not only would she say shit, but when he persisted, she would actually go over and shut HIS door hard. Fucking beautiful!

I have contemplated using this in my situation, as well. But honestly, the same effect would happen: he wouldn't learn anything, his behavior would not change, and I would look like an asshole, too. Just like the other guy, he wouldn't just forget about my concerns, he wouldn't care. Both guys wouldn't say anything rude to you, just continue being obnoxious.

I only have a few of weeks left before the chips will 'fall where they may'. At that time, I'll figure out the best approach, if it is still an issue. In the mean time, I have my ear plugs, (which I don't like using, whether out of pride or inconvenience, I'm not certain). I do what I can to work around my problems concentrating, (primarily due to sound). While I might be more easily distracted by things like this than my co-workers are, that doesn't mean it is right, or that I should just grin and bare it.

I have other issues with the guy, but none have a direct effect on me, (right now). I just find it irritating how much, and for what, he uses his speaker phone. Especially, in light that down the hall sits his boss's boss, who has the decency to use a headset for his calls. Then again, you don't get really far in life by making a habit of being oblivious to the needs of those around you.

So if you use a speaker phone, try to moderate your usage of it, and try to keep the volume down and/or close your door. There are other alternatives, such as a headset, as well. You should always value common courtesy, because you never know which bridge you'll need to cross until you are staring at its burnt remains.

Or another way of saying it, "Be careful whose feet you step on now, they may belong to the person whose ass you'll have to kiss later."